Weekend Review

It's shocking how fast determination erodes.

Friday night, just hours after I wrote the last post, I wanted ice cream. Or maybe brownies. Or maybe brownies and ice cream. And even though I was determined to change, even though my eating plan would let me have brownies (or some other kind of treat) the next day, I spent several minutes convincing myself it was ok and planning for how I was going to get my hands on a treat. I had an ear infection, it had been a long day with the kids, and The Husband was leaving for the evening to meet up with some friends for a pre-arranged game night. All of which meant that it was ok for me to cheat and have a brownie or two or half a pan and oh maybe a cup or two of ice cream on the side. (By the way, these numbers and measurements? Not exaggerating. Not even a little bit. I have a very generous hand with the sweets.)

But the thing is, cheating isn't ok. 

It means that I made a promise to myself and now I'm breaking it. It means that I don't respect myself enough to keep my word to myself and it means that the next time, I'll need an even smaller excuse to ditch my promises. I am reading a Chris Powell diet book and he talks about making promises you can keep. That are small enough that they're easy to keep. And once you've successfully added one thing, then you can add another. And so on and so on.

This is different from my usual m. o. I tend to find things to change every day and am constantly changing my mind and making new commitments. I have a list in my kitchen with probably 15 different sewing and knitting projects that I am currently working on. There are more that I've put in mothballs (so to speak) but fully intend to finish at some point. It's the same thing with self-improvement. I want to find the perfect haircut, eat less potatoes, do a face routine (wash, care, makeup) every day, go running, floss more regularly, make homemade shampoo that doesn't have any chemicals, create a perfect capsule wardrobe, eat organic foods while not going over budget, learn karate, have a clean and vacuumed house at the end of every day, dry clothes on a line to save money, cut out all white foods (white flour, white sugar), get up early, do 20 minutes of devotions every day, toilet-train Big Bit before he's two ... all of it. All at once.

Clearly, this doesn't work for me (at least in the weight-losing department) or we wouldn't be here. So. Trying to change gears ...

I am committing to:

• eating 5x a day 
• having a treat meal once every other day and watching myself carefully the rest of the time
• doing 5 minutes of cardio every day
• making my bed and getting dressed in street-appropriate clothes every day

I am being guided by Chris Powell's low carb/high carb plan, where you switch it up every day: high carbs or low. However, I am not committing to this because I think it is too much to promise at once and it might not work out, family-wise. Also, I am nursing Little Bit full time, and I am not sure how that effects things. Oddly enough, there are very few diet plans out there that take nursing into consideration.

So, the review:

Friday: good. Kept promises despite feeling sick and wanting brownies.
Saturday: middling. Forgot 2nd snack and forgot to do cardio. However, was reasonable with treat meal and did not go overboard.
Sunday: below par. Did not snack at all, chose high white flour options at supper, did not do cardio, did not make bed.